Robert Rodriguez to film Predator reboot; H2 trailer released on Youtube today

So, yeah...I know what all of you are thinking. Oh, wait...crap. Nobody reads this blog, so you probably aren't thinking anything at all. It's been a long time since I last posted something, I know, but I have been really busy with school and work lately. After final exams next week, updates can be expected regularly, along with more effort to promote this place. I'm going to talk a friend of mine into making me some pretty (and by pretty, I mean pretty bloody) graphics and banners, and I'm going to be toying around with Audacity sometime soon in hopes of getting some podcasts set up. The Predator 2 review I spoke of last month is still awaiting completion, and since it has been sometime since I last saw the movie, I don't think I'm going to finish it soon. The same thing goes for the Freddy's Revenge review, which I haven't even started yet.


However, our favorite mandible-faced alien did make headlines recently. Last month, it was announced that Robert Rodriguez (From Dusk Till Dawn, Grindhouse) will be helming the long-speculated remake of the original Predator, which is slated to begin filming sometime next year. My initial reaction was, of course, incredibly hostile; who does this bastard think he is? What makes him think that he is good enough to tackle such an iconic film? What the hell does he have on John McTiernian? Nothing! After doing some additional research, I found myself more open towards the idea; if he could somehow be convinced to turn this project into another sequel, then I think that all would be well.


John McTiernian's 1987 classic will be getting
an unwanted revision in the near future.

I mean, rebooting the Predator franchise will erase years of continuity in not just movies, but also comic books, videogames, and original novels. The Alien & Predator mythos starts in '79 and goes all the way out to today; is it really necessary to throw all of that in the garbage and start a whole separate series? In addition to washing out the aftertaste of the horrendous AvP movies, another lone Predator sequel could also bring back credibility to the franchise, if it's done correctly.


The interview linked to above proves that Rodriguez isn't an arrogant asshole like Rob Zombie, but that doesn't mean that he isn't capable of "raping a classic" like the aforementioned. The man behind the Spy Kids trilogy and sloppy Tarantino-style campfests is more than capable of doing such a dirty deed, and if this film isn't changed into a simple third installment, it should be cancelled.


Since I've already mentioned Rob Zombie, I suppose I may as well add that the trailer for his next stain on the Carpenter name was released last month. Old news, I know, but I didn't get a chance to post about it earlier. If you truly are interested in viewing such slop, then you can do so by clicking here. Most of the featured footage is also in the compilation of clips that I complained about last time around, but there's some new stuff in there, as well. Zombie's wife dressed in a skanky white outfit, a couple of teenage girls screaming their heads off, and a young boy asking Michael if he is a giant. Super awesome!


Michael, as seen in Zombie's upcoming second installment. In a radio
interview, one of the cast members described the film as "a filthy
version of Scooby Doo."

Well, kids, that about sums this new chapter up. Before I go, I'd like to say that while the two expected reviews remain on hold, a review of the sixth Elm Street movie, Freddy's Dead, will go into progression. I saw that movie for the first time about a week ago, and (despite how bad it was) it will be fairly easy to write on. Everything from it's still fresh in my head...unfortunately.

First footage from Zombie's H2 unveiled

Even though not everyone appreciated the crap that Rob Zombie took on the Halloween franchise with 2007's unforgettably bad 're-imagining,' one thing was always certain; there would be a sequel. And now, come 2009, after about three months of shooting, production on the movie is almost finished and the studio is aiming for an August release date. Yikes, talk about rushing things along!

Despite his initial claims of having no interest in directing a second outing, Zombie revealed that he was attached to this project at the beginning of the year, and has since then shown great excitement over his plans to further ruin one of the greatest horror legends of our time with his shitty vision of 'what Michael Myers should really be like.'

Needless to say, I'm less than excited about this movie. However, I also know that there are (unfortunately) lot's of people looking forward to wasting their money, so I'm posting this bad news with them in mind. Yesterday, a compilation of footage from the film was screened on Entertainment Tonight. Clips include Danielle Harris being chased by a maskless Michael, along with some gruesome stabbings and a trippy dream sequence.

Michael will be shedding his iconic mask for

a good portion of the upcoming film, which hits

theatres this Summer.

Yes, that's right, I said maskless. A maskless Michael Myers. It's almost as if Zombie is actually trying to piss hardcore fans off by making all these unnecessary changes to the character. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Michael ends up speaking some dialogue in this movie, because that's the only thing I can think of that would be more ridiculous than showing him without his mask on.

I could talk about my disdain towards this project for hours, but I think I'm going to cut my post short here. So, what do you think? Has Zombie fucked things up, or is he on the right track? My opinion don't mean nothin', but yours does. Tell me what's up!

Hack/Slash--Living Corpse crossover released; Jackie Earle Haley announced as Freddy in remake of Elm Street

I'm pretty happy with the way my first review turned out, so I think I'm actually going to rack up a few more sequels before diving into some of the classics. The next film I've chosen, Predator 2, is a witty sci-fi slasher flick that is definitely on par with (if not better than) its predecessor. I'm also planning to have a review of the second Elm Street movie up soon afterwards, but I don't think there's much nice to say about it; it is notorious for being one of the worst Freddy movies ever, after all.


Classic Freddy (left) next to revamped Freddy (right).

Oh yeah, and in speaking of Freddy, some big news about the fedora-sporting psycho was released earlier this month! Apparently, Jackie Earle Haley (who recently starred in Watchmen) has been cast as the character in the upcoming reboot of the franchise. Good? Bad? What's the deal here? Personally, I think he's an excellent choice; he's shown his prominence as an actor through the high number of diverse roles that he's taken, and he actually bears some resemblance to Robert Englund, who created a horror icon with his unforgettable performances.


Before I get back to doing shit that's actually important, it's probably worth mentioning that Living Corpse Annual #1 was finally released on Wednesday. It has been quite a while since the last Corpse outing was released, but what makes this issue really special is its inclusion of Cassie and Vlad from the Hack/Slash series, who are loved and adored by both horror fans and comic fans alike. I picked it up, but I haven't had a chance to read it yet. I'm hoping I won't be disappointed, because I've waited almost eight months for this damn thing to come out!


Cover A of Ken Haesar and Buz Hassan's
Living Corpse one-shot.

Child's Play 2--Movie Review

Most people always assume that the first entry in any film series--horror movie, or not--will be the best one of the litter, without fail. However, the Child's Play series sets itself apart from other horror franchises in the sense that the best outing wasn't the original movie, but the first sequel that followed. No, I really mean it, here. This movie is damn better than the original. And despite what a few asshole critics from the late 1980's might have you believe, this is a height that was not easy to reach.


While lacking in some areas, and paling in comparison to the likes of A Nightmare On Elm Street, and even underground classics like Silent Night, Deadly Night, the original Child's Play was a notable niche in the genre, simply because of its good storytelling, its original concept, its boundary-pushing special effects, and its believable and well-selected cast. Child's Play 2 follows in the steps of the original; the only difference here is that this time they pulled out all the stops and pushed everything up a notch. The pacing is much better in this film, the death scenes are much more creative and thought out, the acting is brought up to an even higher level, and all this is complimented by a musical score of epic proportions that will have you thinking to yourself, "did the guy who did the music for the LoTR films work on this?"


Chucky moves in to finish off Miss Kettlewell, a gradeschool
teacher who made the mistake of locking him up in a closet.

Picking up two years after its predecessor, the story begins with some footage of Chucky being put back together again, accompanied by one of the excellent musical tracks spoken of above. You see, the PlayPals toy company is going bankrupt because of all the bad publicity surrounding the events of the first film, and naturally, they want to prove to the public that the whole series of events surrounding 'Chucky' were nothing more than tabloid myths. Around the same time this is happening, a pair of foster parents (Gerrit Graham and Jenny Agutter) pay a visit to the orphanage young Andy (played once again by Alex Vincent), whose mother has been placed in psychiatric care, is staying at. After initial hesitancies due to the boy's odd and traumatic past, the couple agree to take Andy home and care for him until his mother recovers.


All this seems fine and dandy, but little do they know that Chucky has hitched a ride with the slimey CEO of PlayPals, and is coercing him into taking an alternate route after he finds Andy's whereabouts in some company files (he calls the orphanage afterwards, and is then directed to the Simpson's residence). Initially Andy believes that Chucky is actually Tommy, a Good Guy doll that was already present in the Simpson house before he arrived, but he quickly realizes that his old tormentor has returned when he awakens one night, tied to a bed with a plastic face smiling down on him. Fortunately for him, the doll is unable to complete the voodoo chant. It soon becomes evident that Andy's only hope lies in the help of his foster sister, eighteen-year-old Kyle (Christine Elise), who is more likely to believe him than either of the adults he's staying with.


One of the things you'll notice early on in the movie is the vast improvement in the animatronics and special effects; Chucky is more animated and expressive than ever, and he looks more sinister and realistic than he did in the first outing. Brad Dourif also gives his best vocal performance as the doll, with the right mix of humor and sadism. The film only gets better as it progresses, and the climax inside of the doll factory is easily the best scene in the movie. Conveyer belts, machines and a maze of doll boxes all play a part in the obstacle course that Andy and Kyle must run through in order to escape Chucky, and director John Lafia does all the right tricks with the camera in order to make all of the location's visual advantages click in the film. The scene is, of course, complimented by the wonderful score of composer Graeme Revell, who would go on to do much bigger and better things after this movie (although he did return to the Child's Play series in Bride of Chucky, and even included a light reprise of his theme from this movie within his score for that).


The animatronic effects in this film are one of its crowning points.
Vastly better than those seen in the original.

The kills in this movie are another thing that makes it shine, with each one being placed alongside some nasty Chucky dialogue that could put even some of Freddy's greatest wisecracks to shame. The CEO at the beginning gets the best one, if you ask me.


As far as acting goes, most horror fans can't complain about a choice like Jenny Agutter, who exposed her volomptuous bare breasts and bottom in the cult classic An American Werewolf In London. Also adding to the eye candy is the young Christine Elise, who doesn't overshadow Agutter's good looks, but...forseeably outlives her. Star Trek fans will immediately recognize Gerrit Graham, who excels at portraying characters who are douchebags, and 90's TV fans will remember the brown-nosing CEO asshole as Greg Germann, who was a frequent on Ally McBeal. Rounding out the performances is Alex Vincent, who successfully evolves the character of Andy from the young and defenseless target in the last movie. He is clearly effected by the events of the original, but his bravery has increased, as well as his strength. Towards the middle of the film, he actually finds himself attempting to confront and kill Chucky, although things don't go as planned, and this escalates into the death of his foster father.


All in all, I'd have to rank this amongst my favorite slasher titles. I can understand a lot of mainstream moviegoers not having an interest in seeing this, but please believe me, this is a fun time, just like the first movie was. Horror fans who are having doubts about this movie should also know that famous film critic Roger Ebert (who is known for being a Nazi towards all things horror) said that it "delivered the goods", describing it as a "truly frightening thriller." He also went on to say that it was foul, disturbing, ugly and offensive, and as a human being, he wished he hadn't seen it. Is there anything else that could ease your doubts about this more? See this. You won't regret it.


I'm giving this movie an 8 out of 10. I'd like to be more generous with it, but it just doesn't belong in the ranks of classics like Elm Street and The Shining, which are far superior to most films in the genre. Not everyone will like this movie as much as I did, but if you enjoyed the first one, then give this one a shot.