Friday, May 15, 2009

Hack/Slash: Entry Wound released; new Alien/Predator comics hitting shelves this month

It's a big month for comics if you're a horror fan. Yup, that's right. Not only are we getting two Hack/Slash outings as opposed to the usual lone monthly release, but we will also be seeing Dark Horse return to one of their biggest cash cows ever, the Alien vs. Predator franchise. Two separate books (titled 'Aliens' and 'Predator', respectively) will be debuting on the 27th, and are planned to have four-issue runs each. Enough to last about the entire summer. I haven't been reading into any of the hype behind them, so I don't know for sure if I'll be making a purchase, but DH has always been able to thrive with these two creatures, so I have faith in them. Aw, who the hell am I kididng? There are about eighteen different volumes available in shops that consist of all the previous works that they've put out. If that doesn't scream excellence, then I don't know what does.


If you're new to the world of A&P comics, then you can pick up one of the omnibus collections at your local book store or comics retailer. I'm planning on getting volume one of the original Predator series sometime soon; I was flipping through it about a month ago, and despite its age, the artwork is pretty badass.


Dark Horse's run on the Alien and Predator mythos
first began in the late 1980's. In fact, the idea of
pitting the two against one another was first formulated
by the company.

I have yet to read sexy Cassie's $2.50 one-shot, but it looks to be the best that Seeley has cranked out in a while. These previews seem to indicate that the femme fatale's rogues gallery has greatly expanded; looks like we'll be seeing some new (bloody) faces in this issue. I'll probably go out and buy it next week. Hack/Slash #22 is supposed to hit stores then, so I'll wait for a little while and then knock out two birds with one stone. If anyone reading along at home has picked it up already, then please, enlighten me and tell me how it is. Umm...you know the comment button? Well, it doesn't bite!


The long anticipated Hack/Slash: Entry Wound
popped up on shelves earlier this week.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Movie Review--Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare


Not many of the Elm Street sequels are very high on the list in terms of quality. For most horror fans, this fact is common knowledge. So, why then, after all these years, has the series continually maintained its cult following and its enormous box office intakes? I know it's been quite a while since the clawed psycho's last solo film was released, but Freddy vs. Jason raked in tons of cash. These movies do well because of two key things; Englund's consistently hysterical and excellent performances, and the sheer outrageousness of the way he does away with his victims. Freddy Krueger is one of the few characters in the film industry that can take a really bad movie and turn it into carnival of enjoyment and thrills. So, does he succeed in saving this entry from the gutter?

The answer is saddening, but no. This movie actually gets caught up in the campy factors that became progressively more prominent as the sequels pumped out. Freddy is no longer a menace, but more of a clown. It's almost like they tried to make him kid-friendly in this installment. I'll banter on about this later in the review, so for now, just keep reading...

The story opens with the last surviving child of Springwood attempting to escape his inevitable fate at Freddy's hands via an airplane; he figures that if he can get away from Elm Street, then that means he'll get away from him. However, this flight is quickly cancelled when he falls asleep in his seat and the man of our dreams (miraculously) transports him to a town in California, where a young girl named Maggie helps out at a local youth center. The kid is soon mistaken for a drug-addicted run away, and the police take him to the shelter where he is questioned about his identity. This problem child can't seem to remember anything about himself, but after some chit-chat, he recalls his town of origin, and Maggie volunteers to take him home.

Once they arrive back in Freddy's territory, they learn that three spritely teens from the center have stowed away in their ride, and are hoping to use their distance from jail as a ticket to freedom. As Maggie and John try to discover why all the townspeople are acting so mysteriously (and why there are no children present in the area), the three cardboard cutouts find an abandon house to crash in, and two of them quickly become Freddy fodder. The kills are pretty ridiculous in this.

Want to know something funny? This is an actual still from this movie.
I'm not even joking.

After more snooping around, it is suggested that one of the remaining characters is Freddy's child, and that he set up the film's course of events so that he could reconnect with his young. Hey, the guy's a family man. Before they leave Springwood, John bites the dust, so Maggie becomes the most obvious candidate.

Upon her return to California, the managers at the youth center have no recollection of the teens who were killed. She panics and ponders about this for a while, and then in a dream she learns about her father, and how her return to Springwood gave him the ability to transport himself to different locations, where he can cause all kinds of havoc once again ("every town has an Elm Street," as he put it). She comes to formulate the same battle plan that Nancy used in the original movie, and brings the madman out of the dream world to finish him off.

The dream demons approaching Freddy with their offer, just prior to
his grim death by fire. Probably the only iconic shot seen in this flick.

So, yeah...I don't even know where to start. Umm...what's up with all the unexplained crap? Freddy always had a ton of power in the dream world, but he could never transport somebody's physical body to another location. He's suppose to have no effect on our reality. Also, how does Maggie's return to her hometown give him the ability to visit new areas? It's shown that he is able to stow away inside her body, somehow, and travel within her to California, but if he can use her body to do that, shouldn't he be able to do that to anybody?

As I implied earlier, the depiction of Freddy here is just awful. Despite the gore, the kills become increasingly jokey and light-hearted throughout, and Freddy seems quite harmless and goofy at times. I'd say it's a good thing that this wasn't the last outing, but it actually isn't...Wes Craven's New Nightmare was almost has bad as this.

Acting his fairly straightforward in this. Nothing bad, but nothing noteworthy. In terms of guilty pleasures, Lisa Zane (the lead role) is just gorgeous, and Lezlie Deane (Tracy) isn't bad either. Fans of 1979's Alien will need no introduction to Yaphet Kotto, who plays one of the youth center's employees. Besides him, no notable genre names are seen. The visual effects in this don't really hold up to any of those seen in previous installments, and since the kills that they enhance are (like I said) idiotic, no extra points are earned because of them. There's one scene where Freddy actually sucks a kid into a videogame and proceeds to beat him up by controlling a digital version of himself. I mean it. There's not a decent one here. Garbage.

I know I should be more dramatic and start swearing up a storm, but I'm making a conscious effort to refrain from vulgarity tonight. While this movie shows some initial potential towards the halfway mark, the ball is dropped almost immediately afterwards. It's definitely the worst in the series, and it should be avoided unless you're a completionist. Mainstream moviegoers shouldn't even bother with this, and while we're at it, horror fans shouldn't either. I'll give it a 3 out of 10, and actually, that's being pretty nice.